Apr 15, 2008

12 Ways To Improve Your Twitter Experience*

*or at the very least, mine.

Following up on the success of my "10 Things I Hate About Twitter" post:
  1. Do not post “Good morning Twitter peeps!” the second you wake up. Or some even more annoying variation like “Yo Tweeps!” (The latter is especially true if you are white, upper middle class and/or a graduate of an Ivy League college.)
  2. In fact, white people should studiously avoid tweeting words like “Peeps!” “Yo!” “Da Boyz!” and other misguided attempts at urban Black slang. Remember how your dad sounded when he said “awesome!” Exactly.
  3. If you mistype, do not bother to correct your grammar or spelling in a follow up tweet. No one is judging you.
  4. Tweeting that you’ve reached a new milestone in the number of people following you is always in poor taste.
  5. Please limit tweets promoting your recent blog posts to no more than two a day.
  6. Twitter has a direct message function. Please use it for private conversations, e.g. “@johndoe: You left your socks in my apartment last night.”
  7. If you think it's boring, chances are I will too.
  8. Live posting from SXSW is one thing. Live posting from your dinner with your college buddies, quite another.
  9. It’s not a contest. You don’t get extra points for posting the most obscure link of the day.
  10. Twittering about twittering about Twitter is a lot like those stoned 9th grade conversations about “what if the earth is really just like a speck of dust in some giant universe?”
  11. Twitter is not a mobile version of weather.com or Expedia. If I want hourly weather reports or flight updates, I have other options.
  12. Idolizing rock stars is normal behavior in our society. Idolizing internet stars is just creepy. Refrain from words like “genius” “brilliant” and “Seth” and you should be cured in no time.
Hat tip to Adweek's Brian Morrissey for suggesting the post and adding some tips of his own.

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